Not for what I have done…

Is it truly possible that I can be accepted for nothing more than being me? Not for what I have done or what I can become…

It seems as though my journey has been an endless path of learning and growing experiences. I’ve known for years I have found my identity in people. Getting that from my head to my heart, to allow transformation to occur, that hasn’t happened yet.

But what I also know is Jesus Christ died for our sins. Our sins from yesterday and today…and even tomorrow’s sin. He knew all of what we would do before he allowed his torturous death. Hear this…He died for my sin, not for what I can accomplish.

Here’s the problem with that. I’m a doer. I’ve learned over the years that when I do things to help people, they reward me with their friendship…they “like” me. And I find who I am in that. The more friends I have, the better person I must be.

Shortly before I gave up alcohol as a means to cope with life, I was out with a group of friends. One of the girl’s boyfriends didn’t like me. It didn’t matter to him how nice or cute I was, he just didn’t care for me. And it didn’t matter to me that I didn’t much care for him either, it just bothered me that he didn’t like for me and on this particular night – once I was completely wasted away on tequila – I asked him why.

His simple answer was because “he just didn’t” (like me).

I allowed that to destroy my evening. I thought “How can someone not like me?!”

I kind of chuckle now at that as I think of how ridiculous that sounds.

But at times I continue to live that way.

Not everyone liked Jesus Christ. Why would I think everyone would like me?

Genesis 1:27 says “God created man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

 So if I am created in God’s image, then isn’t it safe to say if I am rejected for who I am, then ultimately they are rejecting God?

As I go about my journey, I am learning I don’t have to save you. And how relieving to figure that out, as I fail everytime I try. Nor do I have to perform for you.

Accept me or not, I am going to be okay.

And as I get this from my head into my heart, I will stop expecting you to perform for me too.

 And I will love you for you…not for what you have done or what you can become.

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