As I write this, it’s been about 62 hours since “The Accident” and with the exception of the few hours of sleep I’ve gotten, thoughts about it continue to overwhelm my mind.
The morning after as I was leaving for work backing down my driveway, I became nauseated. I heard in my mind my son’s injured wails all over again.
At the campground, the internal struggle to not keep my kids right next to me was almost overwhelming…especially when vehicles drove through. My mind thought tomorrow’s news headline “CHILD DIES AT CAMPGROUND AFTER SURVIVING BEING RUN OVER 2 DAYS PRIOR”.
Every laugh we share, hug or opportunity to look into my son’s warm hazel eyes, I can’t help but think I almost didn’t get to experience this.
Parts of life have returned to normal. I went to work and Friday night church as usual; the kids are already back to their chores and complaining.
But there’s an unspoken fear in the air. As reality sets in and as each of us fully processes our understanding of how quickly our lives could have been drastically changed, we are a little bit kinder towards one another and a bit more cautious.
Before “The Accident”, when I wanted my kids to go outside to play, I’d tell them to “go play in traffic” (we live on a cul-de-sac so I found it humorous as there is no traffic). Today it doesn’t present the same humor.
Driving in my car, I’m more aware of my vehicle not just being a mode of transportation but a possible deadly weapon. Taking pride in multi-tasking while I drive has lost its luster – from texting to loading my cds or even putting on my lipstick in my rearview mirror. I could have been doing any one of these things on the day my son was hit and the guilt never would have left me. Thank God I wasn’t.
I’m sure as each day passes and Brandon’s visible wounds heal over, we will get back into a routine more closely resembling what we had prior to “The Accident”. Eventually the fear will diminish some and the replays of that moment will get to be fewer and further in between, but it is my prayer we never forget the lessons this has taught each one of us.
In the mornings as I’m finishing my devotions, I send out a text bible verse blast to dozens of people. The last verse I sent prior to “The Accident” was from Psalm 9:10, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
With 1,189 chapters in the Bible and 31,103 verses (KJV), I KNOW that I have better odds to win the lottery than pick this verse on my own. God spoke to me and then he followed it up and showed me. He kept His Promise. I sought and He saved…just like He promised.
God is real. He is alive and He is personal. If you don’t have a growing relationship with Jesus Christ, don’t wait another minute. You may not have another opportunity than the one you have right now. Reach out to a pastor you trust or message me and I will share with you the next step.
I am not unique. I am a mess God has taken and is transforming. He WILL do that same thing for you…if you allow Him.