Since I came home from my mission’s trip, I have spent so much time processing. I’ve been trying to stay away from “right” and “wrong” thinking, as our countries are so dramatically different. I have tried to look at the differences in understanding the two cultures for where they are.

Being a welfare kid, I thought I understood poverty, but nothing in my spoiled entitlement could prepare my mind for this experience. For me, being in Myanmar almost felt like being dropped in the middle of Survivor. It is so undeveloped and poverty stricken.

I have been asked many times if I wanted to take the orphan children home with me.

It has been my thought while I was there and continues to be that I can firmly say no, I do not want to bring them here. Which is where some conflict arises.

Of course my flesh desires to bring the children into the beautiful home God blessed us with and give them even just the basic of needs – a mattress to sleep on and clothes on their backs. Of course I want to show them the love of a parent, that many have never experienced.

But from my limited view, these children appear to have a faith that even goes beyond my understanding. And I wouldn’t want to risk that for the luxuries.

While America is a financially “rich” country, we are very spiritually poor.

I have a huge burden for Myanmar. As they incorporate with the rest of the world – a world they’ve been shielded off from – how will that affect the faith of those I’ve come to know and love?

My mind has spent the past 9 days somewhat isolated trying to understand many things, but what if my understanding doesn’t happen in my deepest thinking? What if it happens when I’m living my everyday life?  Or perhaps I will never understand until I meet God face to face?

Today I am going to fully rejoin my life, where God has me today. I am going to find joy in that and surrender my lack of understanding to God. He has a plan that is good – for me, for my family here and for my family in Myanmar. Today I’m committing to show up and be present for whatever God has for me in the Quad Cities.

Much love,


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