Father’s Day can be bitter sweet depending on the role you have in the day.
This is my first Father’s Day since my dad passed away, nearly 3 months ago. But it’s not my first year without my dad on Father’s Day. In fact, I can’t ever remember a Father’s Day with him. I’m sure we spent a few Father’s Days together when I was a toddler, but my memory doesn’t go that far back. So today should be another day.
But it hasn’t been.
This season has been a time of grieving for me. Many tears have been shed over the last few months.
My real dad and I weren’t close, but I loved him. Even flawed, did I ever love that man. His death was too quick for me. Prior to him dying, I knew I’d never see him alive again, and I didn’t have anything left unsaid, but I’m still feeling the loss.
I have been blessed to have a stepdad that I also call my dad, since I was 7 years old. While we were never close, he’s always been there. And usually he doesn’t tell me things I want to hear, but he’s there. He’s a constant, and I know he loves me. In his own way.
But now my mom and dad are separating.
I know about divorce. Boy do I know about divorce, and the effects on kids. My kids have had more than their share of this to deal with.
Perhaps divorce affects adult children too?
My parents have been married since I was 7 years old. I’ve never had a relationship with my dad outside of my mom. I have no idea what that looks like. Is that even an option? Am I going to lose another person I’ve known as a parent? These thoughts have been running through my mind over the last few months.
Today my big brother is experiencing his first Father’s Day without his dad also. He has no living children, as his daughter died before she was born. Today is a difficult day for him, no doubt.
My oldest children have had a strained relationship with their dad. Today is a reminder.
This day can be a reminder for anyone feeling robbed from their expectation of what a father should be and where their expectations weren’t met.
Have you ever looked through a telescope the wrong way and all you can see is your eye?
Perhaps if you turn the telescope around, you will find your Heavenly Father – your real Creator – has never left you.
We all long for significance. And our parents can offer that to us. They can also take it from us, if we’re not careful.
Did you know that while we all have earthly parents, it is God in Heaven who actually created you?
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;” –Jeremiah 1:5
God created you for a purpose. He set you apart. He is so passionate about you, He knows everything about you!
“He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head!” – Luke 12:7(a)
Where we suffer with feelings of abandonment, when we come to KNOW Christ, we can feel content in Him, by asking Him to fill that void. Where we struggle with any lost relationship, today or tomorrow, when we come to know Christ, we can feel content again.
But we have to come to know Him first.
We can’t trust a God we aren’t in relationship with. We can’t ever have that void filled if we don’t appreciate the amazing majesty of the Creator of the Universe.
If this is a difficult day for you, my prayer is that you are able to turn that telescope around and see further back than the pain staring you in the face.
My prayer is you can find your identity in the incredible workmanship God created you to be. You don’t have to earn His love; you can’t earn His grace; you just need to be willing to accept it.
He is with you. Today. Yesterday. And tomorrow.
How are you today?
If you’re not feeling happy on this day, pray. If this blog stirred something inside of you, ask God for clarity. Talk to a pastor or a trusted friend who is walking with God.
Don’t wait another day to start a journey of healing.
Happy Father’s Day!